5 Ways To Overcome Working Mum Guilt

Do you suffer from working mum guilt?

Mum guilt used to hold me back in so many ways.

I couldn’t do anything without my kids, because I felt that they deserved every little of bit of me. My son would cry when I dropped him off at daycare, and I’d feel terrible every morning until I picked him up.

When my husband tried to plan a date night, I’d feel bad if I hadn’t spent quality time with my kids that day, and I’d bring them along (and have interrupted conversation whilst stressing about them fussing in the restaurant).  When I had organised a babysitter so I could work on the business, I’d cancel last minute, feeling bad that they’d be away from me.

As I was trying to run a business and raise my children, I realised I wasn’t doing EITHER job very well when I was trying to do it all at once. I watched from afar as other successful business women seemed to raise their kids well and have a great relationships with them. So I realised, there had to be a better way!

Here are 5 ways to overcome mum guilt:

  1. Recognise that a healthy you means you’ll be a better mum. Choosing to have time to rest, to exercise, to read, to spend time with your spouse, or your friends - or whatever nourishes you, away from your children, can have a positive roll on effect on your children! A healthy, happy you will make a more patient, more present and happier mum for your children.
  2. Recognise that to do anything well - you need to focus on it. If you want to be a great mum, focus on your kids when you’re with them. If you want to build a great business or career, focus on it when you’re working on it. Trying to do deep, effective work on your laptop while playing with your kids doesn’t work - you have to focus on one thing at a time.
  3. Check - is your mum guilt valid? Are you spending too much time away from your children and you know it? If so, work on changing it. Are you spending too much time with people who make you feel guilty? If so, work on changing that.  
  4. Soak up the little moments with your little people. The meals you share, the cuddles when they wake up, bathtime. Often times we feel we need to overcompensate with a full day out or presents when we’ve been busy or away. Try to use the daily rhythm of life to regularly fill your little one’s love tank.  
  5. Remember, it takes a village to raise a child. Time away from you might mean time bonding with dad, or the grandparents. It might mean time learning and playing with other kids and other carers. You can’t do it all alone, and it’s healthy for your child to grow bonds with other people in their lives.